What Athletes Say vs. What They Might Really Mean: Unlocking the Emotional Language of High Performers to Support Mental Health
In sport, saying less is often seen as a strength.
From a young age, athletes are taught to push through pain, stay focused, and keep emotions in check. Emotional control is praised. Vulnerability? Often misunderstood as weakness.
Mental health is a core part of wellbeing and sustainable performance. Studies show stigma around seeking help and fear of judgment prevent many athletes from reaching out (Gulliver et al., 2012; Cosh et al., 2024). Over time, athletes learn to hide their struggles because staying quiet becomes the norm.
As a Registered Social Worker who specializes in working with athletes, I hear certain phrases again and again. They may seem simple, but there’s often more going on underneath. Let's explore a few.
1. “I’m fine.”
This is perhaps the most common phrase athletes use when they’re anything but fine.
In many sports environments, being “fine” is expected. You show up, you perform, you manage. But underneath this phrase can be:
I don’t feel safe enough to open up
I’ve been taught to hide how I feel
If I admit I’m not okay, I’m afraid I’ll fall apart, be seen as weak, or lose my spot on the team
What might help instead? Creating pressure-free spaces where athletes feel safe to name what they're really feeling, without fear of judgment or consequences.
2. “I’m just tired.”
Physical tiredness is expected but this phrase can also signal burnout, anxiety, or depression. These symptoms often show up as emotional exhaustion, low motivation, or “running on autopilot.”
What might help instead? Exploring what kind of rest is actually needed, whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental, and creating space for full recovery instead of just pushing through.
3. “I don’t want to let anyone down.”
This phrase runs deep. For many high-performing athletes, their identity is tightly wrapped up in their sport. They see their value through the lens of their performance, results, and how others perceive them.
Underneath this might be:
I feel like my worth depends entirely on how well I perform
I struggle to separate who I am from what I achieve
I don’t know how to set boundaries between sport and self
If I stop or slow down, I worry about losing my place or importance to my team, coaches, or loved ones
What might help instead? Support that helps athletes untangle their identity from their achievements and reminds them they are valuable for who they are, not just what they do.
Why This Matters
These phrases aren’t wrong. They often serve as a way for athletes to protect themselves. When athletes don’t feel safe enough to open up, these words can become barriers that keep them from getting the support they need.
By really listening and responding with understanding, we can start to change the current culture. Mental health matters just as much as physical performance.
Tips for Athletes, Coaches, and Parents
Listen closely and with care. Whether you’re an athlete, coach, or parent, pay attention not just to what’s said but also what’s left unsaid. If someone says “I’m fine” but something feels off, gently check in.
Create safe spaces for honest conversations. Encourage sharing without judgment and remind athletes that asking for help takes courage and is completely normal. Normalize mental health by talking openly and reminding each other that struggles happen even to top performers.
Watch for changes. If you notice shifts in mood, sleep, motivation, or performance, take them seriously. These can be signs someone needs support.
Be clear about confidentiality. What an athlete shares might not always stay private, and that fear of consequences can stop them from opening up. It’s important everyone understands how confidentiality works in each setting to help build trust.
Encourage professional support. Therapy can offer useful tools to handle stress, avoid burnout, and find balance both in and out of sport.
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If what you’ve read here hits home for you or someone close to you, remember you don’t have to figure it all out alone. I work with athletes and high performers who face unique pressures, and I’m here to help. Whenever you’re ready, feel free to reach out and talk about how therapy can support your mental health and help you thrive in sport, performance, and everyday life.
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References
Cosh, S., Tully, P. J., & Benson, A. C. (2024) Athlete mental health help-seeking: A systematic review and meta-analysis of rates, barriers and facilitators. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 71, 102586.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2023.102586
Gulliver, A., Griffiths, K. M., & Christensen, H. (2012). Barriers and facilitators to mental health help-seeking for young elite athletes: A qualitative study. BMC Psychiatry, 12, Article 157. https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244X-12-157